When Concerts Could Be Better Than Sex!

Initiation

That first ‘real’ concert memory is precious.. and pretty much as treasured as that first ‘real’ girlfriend but with very different outcomes. For me, great concerts are better than sex; they last longer (generally speaking of course), they have a far more profound effect, and you don’t need tissues.

I have always wondered what a visit to a reputable brothel might be like… maybe it really is a fantastic experience and if it is, then maybe you can’t equal it even with the kind of buzz you get at a major historical concert such as those that are the subject of this feature. Either way though, and speaking as one who is well aware of his needs and desires, I’d sooner go to a great concert but err...there are exceptions that I don’t care to mention here!

Like with sex, some people have dodgy experiences at the event and it’s the same for some where a concert performance fails to live up to expectations somehow. I’m lucky in not having had that happen to me; every concert I have attended was something of an exceptional experience.. they were all enthralling in one way or another and every one ended with a stunning climax!

Unquestionably, it’s the first concerts that add up to something truly synonymous with the phenomenon of just ‘being there’ and it's the witnessing of something incredible. These days however, we seem to be culturally positioned in a time when incredible things for many may well have become increasingly rare.

Today, we look at record, CD, or MP3 releases differently than we used to and often without the aid of a decent music paper review or news item to help us along. Although we may still have music videos and round table interviews to go by, nothing really beats the days of classic concerts when reading the concert reviews and other stuff in NME, Melody Maker and Sounds was a real buzz. I can remember one guy wrote in to NME for the letters page stating simply: "I Exist!" with NME's reply being "So What?" which was had us all in heaps of laughter!

I must say that Q and Mojo magazines are welcome surrogate exceptions however… great writing, great reviews and the occasional free disc but they cost as much as a CD and they're monthly!

The other thing missing is album artwork. Gone are the days when the vinyl record gave you an enormous buzz almost because of the artwork itself. There was a time when you knew what track was what, who produced and engineered what, and you might even get an insert or something inventive happening around the way the album was packaged. To compensate for the loss with CD releases, you will of course have noticed that CD art very often relies more on photography than brushes because it's easier to pick up the branding.

Sadly, we now have in our midst one inch wide media player audio lists. Here's the crack... you get a title with .mp3 at the end of it and a little thumbnail we are expected to appreciate even when we can enlarge it fivefold with a click! What a sad clinical way to select and receive music.... almost prescription-like! The thing is, and whether the industry likes it or not, art matters guys... so let's get a grip, think outside of the boardroom, and wake up and smell the coffee!

Black Sabbath - 1972

In 1972, when I was about 14, my friend and I were approached in the school play yard by a nice looking and musically enhanced girl who was from the year above us. She had two concert tickets for Black Sabbath that she wanted to give away. She came to us not because of our unsurpassable charm and good looks but because we were known to be far more interested in music than we were in the grammar school curriculum. 

The thing is, we didn’t really know much about Black Sabbath other than the fact that they were into ‘heavy rock’ and just had an album released by the title ‘Black Sabbath Vol. 4’. The other thing we knew from our venturing into the dimly lit corners of the record shops in Liverpool, was that people who liked this kind of stuff were often saturated in Patchouli oil which smelled great on girls.. and dear me those girls were rather nice!

“Yea we’ll have them!” was all it took to move beyond the centre position of the bedroom hi fi speakers to some point very close to the stage at the Liverpool Empire a few nights later.

On the day of the concert, we decided not to go to school and instead decided to walk around the record and guitar shops in the city centre before walking over to the Empire where fans were already gathering and where you could hear Black Sabbath rehearsing.

At the stage door, Black Oak Arkansas had just arrived as the supporting band and I think it was because my friend and I were in our school uniforms that the lead singer ‘Jim Dandy’ patted me on the head as he entered the stage door!

At the time of the concert, there seemed to be thousands of males and a lesser few thousand girls queuing up for the show and so we took our positions and followed them in wearing what we thought was suitable attire. We had earlier decided that; “Just a pair of jeans and a t-shirt will do!”

There was an awful lot of long hair, denim, army surplus clothing, afghan coats and flowered skirts being paraded and the aforementioned smell of Patchouli was blended in with the abundant tobacco and tobacco substitutes.

One of the things that really stood out as the crowd began to settle was the random shouting of “Wally!” that seemed to emanate from just three guys in one corner of the venue and then proceeded to be emulated by other groups which we thought was absolutely hilarious and far more contagious than Swine Flu. From somewhere high up on the balcony you’d hear “Wally!” and then from another somewhere in the stalls you’d hear an even louder “Wally!” with maybe a more desperate “Wally!” coming from somewhere near the stage. It wasn’t just a group thing; individuals would shout it out and soon after, we ourselves were shouting “Wally!” which was reams of fun because it really did seem like someone was looking for their mate and that everyone had that same mate with whom they had obviously become separated from! Pure genius!

The shouting and whistling and monumental ‘both hands’ peace signs subsided gradually as Black Oak Arkansas ventured forth with some startlingly fascinating and incredibly loud hard rock. “So this is a rock concert!” I thought to myself as the lights meandered around our heads and the backdrop appeared like a huge monolith behind the drummer. This was indeed a rock concert… and it sounded brilliant!

When ‘Geezer’ Butler, Bill Ward, Tony Iommi, and Ozzy Osbourne took to the stage there was seeming ‘pandamonia’… the Gods were transmogrified into this enthusiastically and warmly welcomed Holy Four. The Liverpool audience was wholly appreciative and respectful rather than all ‘gooey eyed’ and that stood out uniquely as part of the welcome cheers, whistles, and applause that night. Black Sabbath were very big but not quite immensely huge yet and for me looking back, this was when Sabbath were really making history… this was their peak so far for the UK and mainland Europe.

What struck me as absolutely historical, were the very tight and incredibly proficient renderings ofParanoid, Iron Man, Snowblind, Wheels of Confusion, Changes, and Supernaut. The ‘other stuff’ included War Pigs and Fairies Wear Boots, that were firmly established anthems anyway and delighted the crowd with all the delight there was to conjure.

I remember being enthralled by Geezer’s bass playing and Ozzy’s vocals… stunning work… brilliantly conveyed, and memorably performed. That concert, my first ever, was something to behold and looking back today, I wish I’d spent more time attending concerts of that standard particularly during the early half of the seventies. Had I managed it, then I’d have had so much more to reminisce.

Paul McCartney and Wings - 1975

On 15th September 1975, a few months after leaving school and during my first term at Art College, I got to see Paul McCartney and Wings perform the Liverpool Empire for what would have been the‘Venus and Mars’ or ‘Wings Over the World’ tour. The only Beatle’s numbers I remember were‘Long and Winding Road’ and ‘Lady Madonna’ (on piano)‘ and for the solo acoustic set: Yesterday,Blackbird and I’ve just seen a face.

The actual solo and Wings stuff was truly amazing featuring lots of stuff from McCartney, Ram, Red Rose Speedway, and Band on the Run. McCartney was brilliant and the other guys that includedLinda, Denny Laine, Joe English, and Jimmy McCulloch were truly exceptional performers in their own right and in support of an icon that still had a long way to go (and still does).

The Groundhogs - 1976

Next up, around 1976 , I got to see the amazing guitar wizardry of Tony ‘TS’ McPhee and theGroundhogs at Liverpool University; a brilliantly delivered and performed prog rock/blues rock endeavour dominated by incredibly well informed blues rock guitar work mainly on a guitar built purposefully by Tony Zemaitis (1935 – 2002). The friend I went to see Groundhogs with had some personal contact with both Tony McPhee (who’s then home phone number I still remember to this day!) and with the legendary TZ. Great times, inspiring times, and a thoroughly excellent concert!

David Bowie - 1978

In 1978, I had to see David Bowie performing at Earl’s Court in London.. a spectacular ‘Thin White Duke’ kinda performance with all the trimmings of real dedicated, passionate, performance supported by Adrian Belew on guitar which, in itself, was a treasured treat. Bowie began the show with the words ‘it’s all last night’s stuff folks!’ and I remember being particularly struck by the stuff from Low, Heroes, and Station to Station. This was one of Britain’s greatest being even more remarkably greater than I thought he’d be!

I have to point out, regrettably, that Kate Bush was performing at around this time. In fact, it was her only UK Tour EVER and I am still kicking myself for not going when I could so easily have witnessed those phenomenal performances!

Blondie - 1978

Later in 1978, I was invited to see Blondie twice where not only did I see them in their peak pop guise but I also got to meet Debbie and Chris and ended up on the tour bus with them after they’d offered to give a friend and I a lift home! Yep… it’s true… it was just as it was! (They also later invited me to a photographic exhibition in London that I gratefully attended!). The Blondie shows were an absolute must; Debbie was incredibly seasoned as a performer and the go go/pop/New Wave elements were combined eagerly for a just as eager following. I can vividly remember one guy shouting out to Debbie at one point "Hey Debbie... can I shag ya?"

Tanagerine Dream - 1980

In 1980 and 1981, I got to see Tangerine Dream at the Royal Court in Liverpool. These were almost entirely electronic events that were something to behold… the sounds were spacey, awe inspiring, and the large banks of sequencers and stunning sound engineering tipped the scales toward excellence in composition and performance that was indelibly inked ‘European’. These shows provided a leaning for the crowd toward the emerging dawn of innovative ambient music. New Age wasn't in the gene pool.. and whatever anyone else says.. it just hadn’t happened yet!

Frank Zappa - 1988

On 20th April, 1988, I was seeing and hearing Frank Zappa at the Birmingham NEC, and that has to be one of my favourite concerts of all time. The much written about genius was all too apparent; the guitar and orchestrations were absolute and incomparable, and the addition of Frank’s versions of I am the Walrus and Stairway to Heaven were the stuff of legend… remarkable, stunning, truly mesmerizing work!

John Martyn - 1988

Then, also in 1988, came the legendary John Martyn at the Empire who was amazing in every conceivable way and for me the real highlight of that show was hearing and seeing John perform John Wayne… exceptional memory and a much much missed human being.

Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman, and Howe/YES - - 1989

Shortly afterwards, I saw Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman, and Howe (ex Yes) at Wembley and at the Birmingham NEC. (A little later I saw the new 2001 line-up of Yes in Vancouver, Canada).

These, to me, were the ultimate consummate prog rock performers of our time gathered together to promote an often underestimated album of the same name that featured something truly magnificent;The Order of the Universe and Brother of Mine. Jon Anderson was terrific… actually he was more than just that.. he was universal… magical.. Awesome! Rick and Steve were enthralling as we know they always have been and Bill Bruford did things with drums and percussion that would not normally be revealed this side of heaven!

Other concerts since have included guest tickets for Extreme at the NEC who were absolutely unbelievably brilliant, Bon Jovi – utterly terrific (even in the bits that were less ‘rock engaging’, andBilly Joel – who was just excellent in every way, (Rexall Place in Edmonton, Alberta). I’ve forgotten who supplied the tickets but thanks for that anyway!

Dweezil Zappa - 2008

The most recent concert for me was also perhaps one of the best since seeing Frank Zappa and that was the Dweezil Zappa ‘Zappa Plays Zappa’ show here in Edmonton in 2008. This is the concert where I got to shake Dweezil’s and Ray White’s hands with absolute pleasure after one epic performance that will stay with me till the bright light gets really bright! Dweezil’s renditions of his father’s work was really something… it was respect… it was total appreciation, and it was verging on the Almightiest of Almighty performances. I have the DVD.. it’ll be reviewed here soon!

So.. not a very large collection of memorable concerts really, but a collection of absolute greats nevertheless. Concerts that meant something more than just lights and sound and more than just tickets and concert programmes.. it was... OK it was 'spiritual"!

What's Changed?

So what’s changed besides rising ticket prices since the Seventies and Eighties? I can’t speak for the likes of Glastonbury but I can say that many concerts have become a little too ‘corporate’. The less corporate concerts are often performed by ‘short stay’ artists; that is.. the ‘one or two albums and that’s yer lot’ kind. You very often don’t feel anything historical happening. There are also the 'reunion tours' which are great for nostalgia and ardent fans but they are echos really... some of them brilliant but still merely echos.

Of course, if you’re lucky, and you’re prepared to hit the top dollar BOOK IMMEDIATELY online buttonand your click beats the many thousands of other clicks over all of ten minutes or so, then you could be in for one hell of an experience (providing there’s no rehab tag hanging around the stability of an artist and their performance!).

I am convinced that some artists actually plan to walk off stage disgruntled and if they need help in walking off... all the better really, cos the publicity is often more enticing to the consumers and perhaps a little more spectacular than a well informed positive review. Add a bit of rehab and you're rolling in it!

What Next?

Let’s look at some of the guys I think you and I should go out of our way to see live: Kate Bush, Pink Floyd, Leonard Cohen, Neil Young, Bob Dylan, Mike Oldfield, Jean Michel Jarre, Vangelis, Joni Mitchell, Neil Innes, Kevin Ayers, Ultravox, Eric Clapton, and Madonna. There are quite a few others but these are my cream of the crop for today.

For the guys we missed cos they’re no longer around, we'd almost certainly have to have seen: John Lennon, George Harrison, Jimi Hendrix, Family, The Carpenters, Queen, The Rutles, Led Zeppelin, the early 70s line up of Fairport Convention, and of course if it had been at all possible, the Apple period Beatles promoting the White Album, Let it Be, and the new album Abbey Road.

So what I have earnestly been tried to point out is this... concerts were better than sex once, today… today of course, I might have to take some time to re-evaluate and revise the analysis!